Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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