sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
