Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
