I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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