I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
