I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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