He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
