You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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