garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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