You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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