Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
