So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
