Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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