i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we should paint friendship bongs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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