Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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