You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
