oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
