how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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