i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
