eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
