I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize