I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
