I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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