my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Church boner. Awkwardddd
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
