Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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