Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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