I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
