i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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