Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
