nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
