im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
