I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
is wine microwaveable?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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