i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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