so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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