We're like a lot better than the average bears
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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