i permit you to call me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
