Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
