i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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