True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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