True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
