she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
