Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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