I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
