Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
