the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
