She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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