Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So many bounce houses so little time
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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