Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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