I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
