i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
