i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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