It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
