My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
