i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize