we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
