1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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