17 year olds will be the death of me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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