I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
