rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
