Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize